Sometimes big changes in our lives are revolutionary, and sometimes they are evolutionary. It took me a while to realize what that means, but I believe the difference is that one causes a big change in an instant and one slowly evolves into a change.
It was sometime in the Fall of 2012 when I thought everything was going well for me and my yacht brokerage. I had brought on a salesman to help grow the company a bit and, although he was ramping up slowly, he was affording me a few luxuries; time away from the business, an opportunity to mentor, and fantastic camaraderie throughout the days.
Life was going along quite nicely. In fact, so nicely, that I was totally ignoring the number of or lack thereof, commission checks I was paying him. It shouldn’t have surprised me so much when it happened, but it went from the kind of morning when you are whistling your way to work to one where you feel like crying a little bit. It was the uncomfortable moment when he had to tell me that this wasn’t working, he wasn’t making enough to get by, and that he could no longer sell boats for me.
This guy had become one of my best friends who was also helping round out a lot of things in my life, and then he had to walk out the door. I went into a funk, which doesn’t happen to me very often, and certainly not to the degree that just going for a walk wouldn’t help me get over. I went home early that day to be with my family to get cheered up and to be reminded tomorrow was another day. That next day is when I did it.
I don’t use this phrase lightly, but this one act of Googling “The Meaning Of Life” caused a revolution in the way I looked at things in my life. During the next few days, I was exposed to a chain of influences that sent me on a path.
Do you ever find yourself having traveled a mental journey and then when you reflect on how you got to where you are, realize it was just a path of experiences that led you to where you are?
The first big influence was a guy named Steve Pavlina. He sucked me in with his writing because he has a style that is refreshingly bold. Like “I really don’t give a crap what others think because this is how I think and you probably do, too” kind of bold. And he is extremely intelligent, also. He exposed me to what meditation really is, in a practical - “hey, I’m just a Yacht Broker. How the hell would I actually learn to meditate or figure out why I should” kind of way.
I had also been listening to Andrew Warner’s Podcast, Mixergy for a couple of years and, at the same time that I was learning about the importance of meditation through Pavlina, listened to an interview with Vishen Lakhiani at Mindvalley. He spoke about the 6 Phase Meditation program that he had come up with, so I gave it a try. I signed up for Mindvalley and started listening. I committed to spending the 21 minutes on the 6 phase meditation every morning for 5 days in a row.
If I thought it sucked after that, I would quit. Nope, didn’t suck. Changed everything.
Since that life-changing moment, people have sensed something in me that made them feel I may be able to help them. Coincidentally, serendipitously, fortuitously, whatevery-ly, I wanted to and love to help. I have been able to help people start businesses because I could get in tune with what the heart of their motivation for it was. I have been able to help people solve problems, either with mental blocks or relationship issues, and I have been able to make people cry.
Sometimes I would come home after a day at work and one of my sons, or both, would say “So, did you make anyone cry today?” Sometimes the answer was yes, and it gave me satisfaction to say so. The crying would come because I can help bring things out in people that they either didn’t know was bothering them or didn’t want to deal with.
Whether it was grieving from someone passing or a problem dealing with a loved one, I found that when you get to the fundamental, and usually painful cause of the problem, it can resonate so deeply with them that they cry tears of relief and maybe even joy.
My goal in writing theses passages is to be able to help more people. I love when I chat with someone and we get to that place that is genuine. We are not talking about the weather anymore, we are talking about the good stuff. Spirituality, religion, politics (puke), child-rearing, childhood issues, death. You know, the stuff that makes up real life and is at the core of what makes us who we are and do what we do. I love when they say “You just gave me chills”.
I am going to use this venue to tell you where I am at, what I have learned, and give you an opportunity to think perhaps one of two things - “Wow, that’s what I was trying to figure out, too” or “What the hell is he talking about? Swipe right”.
So, should I give it a go or just keep Googling?
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